Year 2009-10 concludes.

Highlight of the year : Eddie Vedder ( Pearl Jam/Into the Wild)
So here i am sitting on my bed with this bright sunlight falling on my face through my window plane.Surprisingly just sitting for 2 hours now.And smiling. Content,relaxed and very happily.The academic year 2009-10 has finally ended.I am quite alone on this last day at my hostel with it being virtually empty. The new found calm is nice. Its refreshing to wake up listening to birds chirping and singing in my balcony than heavy metal or punjabi bhangra.

The year was a bright one for me and probably it was an year of 'Rebirth(in the real world)-Learning' for me. I came to this university as a kid and i am going back home as an adult(in the real sense).Lots of things changed over the last year for me,my perspective towards life in general,my habits, my goals(academically speaking).I sort of discovered the essence of knowledge.Knowledge about myself, the world and the beautiful people in it.The realization and knowledge of love,which is something new and confusing.The knowledge about understanding everything.Finally,the knowledge that nothing in permanent and bounded to change.Change,ya that is permanent. We will keep on growing,changing and evolving.

And the high point is ,this is so just the beginning of the numerous EVENTS.Officially this is where it all begins.

So my ride to the station is waiting, i have to go home! Maa, here i come.

Happy Summer,

Shobhit

I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.

One Fine Day!

Here a few little things that can make a short trip very refreshing and relaxing:

Another good outing yesterday.Terrible weather but exciting to go for a trip.We did go for a trip.It was just that we went 70 kms just for eating kentucky fried chicken.We reached in the time but rode back(70kms) to our place in an auto rickshaw. When its terrible weather with quite decent showers from the sky,being a cloudy and dark night and the road being slippery,you tend to get a bit scared at the thought of driving on N.H.And when you are siting in the front alongside the driver,its not such a cozy affair.Even the dogs were running around,frantically looking for cover from the rains.

So you tend to take your mind off it and just enjoy the scene rather than thinking of the possible consequences.So here it goes.The auto rickshaw was going at a decent pace of 40km/hr or may be a bit more at times.I was sitting next to him(driver) with my head alternating from inside the auto to outside while the chilled breeze was kissing my face,touching my eyes and ruffling my hairs(long hairs i might add) making long burrows on my head and the drizzle kept a tantalizing balance between wetting me and not wetting me.It was like every drop that was falling on my face was carefully dried by the wind coming over it the next second,leaving me amazed.It was as if i was first hand experiencing the delicate touch of mother nature.It was ecstasy as it happened again and again and again making me grow more and more fonder of the moment.I thought for a second,may this ride never end and this feeling never leave my soul when you can feel the utter sense of calmness.

We stopped for tea,under the weather which was tending to becoming dry.Hot tea served.Deja-Vu happened when i was having quite a surreal experience back in Lucknow days over a biking trip.Still the dampness left behind after fresh rain water was floating in the air.Everytime it entered my nostrils,it caressed it to my delight.

At last we reached.We walked to our rooms while i saw the leaves shinning green and dark everywhere.There are moments in life which happen and stay alive and vivid forever.Yesterday,was one of those experiences.

Phew! **Sigh** Deep breath!

Sorted!

Months of awkwardness is gone today.Clashes resolved and i lose.Feeling relieved refreshed or resurrected even. Thank God!

I feel tired after the long road taken.Finally landed nowhere after months.The value addition to me over the time was zero.So here i take the leave,which i should have done earlier havin got the cue much earlier.Someone said that "Its best to retire when you are at the front". I did not do that.I took to the its very limit until my muscles ached and forced me retire.My heart and mind cannot take it anymore.Sorry,to everybody who knows,i have nothing to say and nothing to hear.

Now coming to the day,its was again long. Freescale Semiconductors is giving us lots of things to think of and making its tough and interesting.There was a workshop on the development of a Smart Car based on tracking a race track.Pretty trivial.It was nice.The look into the world of Micro controllers was fascinating and intriguing at the same time.There is so much to do with those little things,i cannot explain.You can control anything almost anything.Your wish will be executed by the machines.A way of expression as well.The world has evolved since i was wetting my diapers till today and i am realizing that.Got to move to the top gear to catch it and fly high,

Okay guys , time to go .Keep working hard everyday!

God Bless!

Back on my running ways!

The turmoil lives on over the weather!

Pleasant as usual. I had a nice long day full of classes and extra classes.I don't know why but on the days i work hard and break sweat, i feel the best.It happened today. I woke up early.As usual missed the breakfast. Prepared for an interview during the luch break. Had my first coffee of the day at 5 Pm.( I am addicted to it,btw)

When i walking back,i felt unusually tired.You know how it is,after a long day.The odd twitch in some part of your body,which you don't know.The unaccounted for dizziness in the head.The odd nostalgia.The odd glum mood.Your neck dropping and your face landing on your chest again and again.You pull it with much effort and again it lands back on your chest.You aimlessly look at your shoes,moving ahead.You mock at them to stop and give you a break,but they don't.You come to your building and realize the elevator is not working.You so want to kill and the guards sitting near it when they give you friendly gestures.You,literally crawl your way up to your room, 4 floors in my case.You reach the door to your room and wait.You wait and stare at the lock.As if it will magically realize that boss is tired and open up on its own.

Then you drop the bag in some corner of your small room and crash in your bed until hunger wakes up,hours later.The same happened to me today,except the last line.I opened the door to my room and instead got my trunks and t shirt on.Got my ankle brace and shoes where they belong and i was off to make my tiring day , a bit more tiring.Today, i wished to take it farther.Its when you have jogged your quota for the day and you take that extra mile,which you relish the most later.

Now as today was the day of challenging yourself again and again so i decided to go for a jog after the P90X workout.I remember my doctor telling me about a month back." Shobhit,take care of your ankle and start running whenever you like but stop running when it starts to hurt".So i took to the football field again.The trees where swaying madly as usual,the dust was becoming a dust storm as usual, a few souls could be heard chit-chatting and laughing far off,as usual but unusually, i was high on spirits.

I took to running after 2 months, i suppose.I ran the first lap, it went fine.Then the second,i was just beginning to feel the rhythm.Then came the following laps.My eyes kept on alternating from closing and open as it was facing very strong winds.The hairs were disturbing me and i started talking to them.I told my hairs" You better mend your ways be where you belong,my head and not my eyes or nose.If you are not listening then we r going to the barbers soon.By the end i was sprinting.It felt nice and energetic.I felt i could go on trek then and there.Such was the adrenaline rush.I could feel my heart thumping in my chest,i stopped not because my ankle was hurting,it was because my inhalation was hurting my windpipe.Now thats a some beautiful and sweet PAIN!

The winds kept on becoming stronger and forced me to vacate the field and leave.I guess the trees where not quite keen on having me around today.I guess the tall sheesham tree got too possessive about it leaves because i was staring at it for quite a while now.You will realize that when you feel tired you are actually not.As its said" Its not necessary to be strong but to feel strong.To transport yourself to the most ancient of human conditions when running around was all what we had to do.The simplicity of such endeavors makes it satisfying and gratifying.

Finally,i took a detour today from my daily habits and it felt nice,calm and smooth.I deserve a lemonade! :) with extra lemons.

Kudos!

I love you all.

P.S How can you sit and read when you can move out of your rooms and RUN!

April 27th,beautiful evening!

Whats a beautiful evening its was. Back here in Patiala, there was a mild thunderstorm in the evening followed by dust bowl state and finally an exquisite site of sun melting behind the clouds below the horizon.Perfect to excite me.

The Sun actually melted away since i was gazing at it for an hour , non stop.I was sitting at the corner of the football field,under a huge range of tall trees , reading 'Motorcycle Diaries' ,all alone.It was getting dark and the combination of the wind,trees and the slight drizzle made it a melancholic sight and i just sighed. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I repeated this like ten times till the feeling started to go away.But no sooner had i stopped thinking about it than the wilderness of the trees nearby started caressing my senses and all the melancholy came knocking at the doors of my heart all over again.

I sat there after the sunset for another hour. Then, I stood up to realize that my right foot has completely frozen. I, like a crippled voyager, long hairs all covered with dust and a face of disdain, limped for a while.Soon i was walking straight , emerging from the dark corner of the field.I walkman played ' I drove all night by Roy Orbison and i literally shouted the song ( its close to my heart).My singing amused the wild birds around and i think even the retreating clouds of birds might have noticed me.The Sun had finally settled in some another world and i could no longer see it.But what was still left was a narrow gleam of light,very sharp and bright.The moon had started emerging from the thick clouds.

I called someone and it was not picked up.I use my mobile so rarely and still its of no use. Ha ha :). Its time i withdraw from it totally. Back in my room, all in dirt and filth, i took to the bathroom.Now the fresh cold water was carefully dripping through my hairs to my body. What a feeling! A very complete afternoon. It just lacked maa and chai! :(

Until next time,

Cheers!

Khwahish!

I was walking then when you passed

Smiling in the golden gleam of the sun

Like a flower blossoming

And your lips like petals bursting open

And eyes so deep as an ocean

You are my Sunshine

I am standing there ever since

Like the world has frozen

Again you pass with the same smile

Smiling in the golden gleam of the sun

Like a flower blossoming

And your lips like petals bursting open

And eyes so deep as an ocean

You are my Sunshine

I am standing there ever since

Like the world has frozen

Again you pass with a giggle

On seeing me there ,exactly there

Giggling in the golden gleam of the sun

Like a flower blossoming

And your lips like petals bursting open

Eyes shining like stars

You are my Sunshine

I am standing there ever since

Like the world has frozen

Again you pass, frowning a bit

On seeing me there,exactly there

Still your face shining under the sun

Like a flower ready to blossom

And your lips like petals ready to burst

Eyes not meeting mine this time

You are my Sunshine

And I am standing there ever since

Like the world has frozen

And you never passed again

Suddenly , its nightfall

Just dark , very dark,barren and scary all around

And I am waiting there ever since

To catch another one of those

Smiles,giggles or frowns

In the golden gleam of the sun

Like a flower blossoming

Like petals bursting open

Like eyes so deep as an ocean

You are my Sunshine forever....

And i will Wish and Wait forever....

5pm Feb 12th '10

Hi

Right now i am out watching Swadesh , one more time. Its because of Gita or something else i don't know but i can't help watching it whenever i find time
Its a lazy afternoon here in kanpur with green plants all around me all drenched in fresh rain water.It has been raining from quite a while and i am absolutely cherishing my experience of coming home in this time of the year when its so pleasant all around.

I don't know why , but i am turning poetic here as i listen to leaves been brushed aside far away by some one under the trees , as i listen to the cloud of birds retreating to their nests after a quite a moist day , as i hear the koel rhythms far off , as i turn nostalgic for all of you sitting in kerela backwaters in one frame having the evening chai.

Now mom is wake , and i am off for chai with parents.

Cheers guys to this lovely affair with life in true sense when you have utter sense of relief, calmness and serenity all around. Today ,i want no more but this feeling to stay with me forever and always provide me the soothing balm in the toughest of challenges ahead as i will always know that just a little more far off , if i carry on and have more faith , i have my family to come to and forget the rest.

At last these lines are just conjuring up in my head


As i stand admist this wind kissing my face ...
I wonder ' I prefer solace over fun'
I prefer silence over talking
I prefer thoughts over expression
Couple over crowd
Truth over love,fame,faith and everything ...

And i reach out to my quiet repose.

Love You,
Shobhit